What's Up With These Feelings?

I can not stop thinking crazy stuff. All I do is think about how scary pregnancy can be. When I get pregnant again it will not be fun! I am going to be a basket case. We started trying again this month. I am on day 22 of my cycle, so we will see in about 9 days! I can't be stressed like I am all the time, and still try and get pregnant. I think it will make it harder.

I keep wondering if Peyton is here with me or if he can just see from Heaven. I am so confused with these thoughts that run through my head all day long. I try to imagine what he is doing. Is he playing with angels, learning things, or praying.....I just hope and pray I see him one day! I used to be scared to die, but now when God calls me home, I'll know my life will finally get to start with my baby Peyton. All my dreams I had with him, will finally get to come true!

I hope I'm pregnant again!